Little Heart - Miscarriage and Child Loss

BAND AID RIP CHALLENGE! Mother/Daughter Mum & Kel

DIARY: Goodbye Time Sucks

Saying goodbye to one of the most influential women in my life. Oozing love from every pore. Teaching my sister and I to express our love and joy from our first days on this earth. You've helped me so much this week. I can never thank you enough for all the little things that you did. I keep finding new areas that you packed - so much care and detail...

Terri Mann my love, words are inadequate - I will miss you as you travel and until we meet again for our spa day (or Bali whichever happens first) the 'missing' won't be any easier.Saying goodbye to one of the most influential women in my life. Oozing love from every pore. Teaching my sister and I to express our love and joy from our first days on this earth. You've helped me so much this week. I can never thank you enough for all the little things that you did. I keep finding new areas that you packed - so much care and detail...

Terri Mann my love, words are inadequate - I will miss you as you travel and until we meet again for our spa day (or Bali whichever happens first) the 'missing' won't be any easier.

DIARY: I Have a New Sewing Machine

My previous sewing machine, that I had for 18 years, sounded like a little steam train. 

A nice whirring chugga chugga that let me know my in-seam was going to be perfect.

This new machine, however, sounds like my Husband Francis when he rode the Wild Mouse rollercoaster at Luna Park in Sydney. That high pitched weak wailing of an emasculated man, riding behind his 5 year old daughter who isn't afraid.

I'm torn between wearing earplugs, or comforting it as I sew.

Also...

After sewing for over 18 years on the same machine... Using my new sewing machine for the first time.
Feeling like this inside.

No idea.
‪
#‎Confidence‬

DIARY: Spider Chronicles - Moving House

13th March 

Omg.
Kelsey starts howling like she's seen Satan.
I flush and run.
There's a huge huntsman spider on her wall.
As big as my hand.
I have no insect repellent.

Armed with a jewel encrusted black suede shoe and my trusty sink cleaner spray... saying "I'm so sorry little friend!" I sprayed it a couple times and then dispatched it to the planet Pandora.

15th March

Well... woke Kelsey up this morning... and the spider from yesterday... his partner was on the ceiling about 20cm from Kelsey's face in the loft bed!!!

Instead of jewel shoeing it like yesterday. I tried Nannarelles suggestion of a broom and a window.

Well.

Shoulda used the shoe, people.

It is now IN the loft bed.
Bigger than my hand.

In the loft bed.

I may as well burn the house and move out now.

People may say that we as a race never "hunted" for our prey like animals ...and were herbivores only etc etc.

But when you are stalking a blerrie spider bigger than your hand, one that literally gallops voetstoets like a horse across the friggin CEILING!...

You realise how much of a Hunter you actually are... you're quiet... stealthy... lethal... hairspray at the ready... predatory... bedazzled... petrified...

HEALTH: Sulphur and Sulphite Sensitivity

On Thursday evening I was exhausted emotionally and physically (understandably) and decided to make my life easier by buying a lovely pasta sauce, some home style meatballs and spaghetti.

Cue 1am in the morning and I wake up shivering violently, moaning and hallucinating and in so much bodily pain I thought I was dying. 

Sulphites, Sulphur 223 to be exact. The one label in 20 that I did not check.
Thanks to my reading over the years we managed to treat it with Magnesium, Epsom salt and Charcoal and by morning I was fine (miraculous considering it used to knock me out for over a week)
Chocolate makes me sore.
Meat hurts my stomach.
Milks and Yogurts and Cheeses make my hair and nails grown strong and fast.
Fermented food smells make me literally gag, and more.

I went to a dinner party and watched with some sadness as people happily enjoyed Balsamic vinegar and other food types that I just can't safely enjoy. Drinking drinks I can never have. So unfair sometimes (let me gripe - I hardly ever do)

Having a sensitive gut, a very sensitive palate (certain food types make me gag and when I read up on the Blood Type Diet they are all in the "not good for you" category) other skin and asthma triggering allergies, IBS and Sulphite allergy (life threatening) it is incredibly hard for me to follow any "diet" whether it be Paleo or Banting etc etc. eating is a sensitive and stressful affair for me. 

Tonight I downloaded "20 healthy Paleo Smoothies"... after reading just 6 of them I sadly closed the document. Half were firmly in the gag reflex zone, and the others contained elements that trigger my sulphite allergy.

*sigh*

Guess I will just have to keep on with my healthy eating, more exercise and no junk - have been very good since October last year. ‪#‎HaveToPushOn‬‪#‎FeelingSad‬

Do any of you have any food issues or allergies?

POLITICS: The Truth About Wealth Distribution in South Africa

Ask yourself. Why does JZ lie? 

Why does the Government of South Africa want the people to be segregated racially and at war with one-another? WHY does the ANC want the black youth and black people to feel less than they are? All his words do is demotivate the youth and cause friction and tension. 

So why? 

To create diversion while Government steals and pillages from the SA money pile? So many questions and not enough answers.

Read the full report HERE.

"Whites account for under 9% of the SA population. As a consequence of history and efforts of world class entrepreneurs, their slice of the economy is around double that. That’s a long way from 93%. But their share is also falling fast as discriminatory laws make whites feel increasingly unwelcome in their homeland, encouraging emigration or the export of capital."

"Take Zuma’s often repeated claim that black South Africans own just 3% of the economy – an intimation that “white capital” still dominates in the area where it matters. As a TimBukOne analysis of the JSE Top 40 shareholder registers revealed, almost half the equity of SA’s biggest companies is held by foreign investors. The JSE’s own research went broader to show of local ownership in these businesses, over half is black owned."

POLITICS: Come on South Africa!

My dear friends back home.
After a year abroad hearing not one news report about South Africa... Mr Zuma and his ANC have forced our country into international headlines and onto international airplay.
And it's not good. 
The list of atrocities that are listed are just everyday occurrences that people have tried to accept graciously.
Stop doing that. 
Sign petitions.
Stand outside and protest.
The world is watching you right now so have your say!
As bad as this report is, you and I know there are loads of other atrocities left out: Farm murders are numbering in the thousands THIS YEAR already.
Rape statistics.
Murders per day etc etc etc
Something has to be done.

"Evil will flourish if good men do nothing"

ARTS DEVELOPMENT: Vocal Coaching Course Starts 15 Feb at The Rhythm Hut in Gosford!

There are only three places left for our Vocal Coaching Course - kicks off Feb 15th 7 - 8pm at The Rhythm Hut - 135 Faunce st Gosford. To book: Contact Amy Hut on (02) 0420682258 

Artistic Director of Sandy Bigara Arts, Gosford / Erina NSW, Australia.

ex - The Bigara Talent Factory CC and Paw Paw Show Company - South Africa

- Piano, Guitar & Vocals, full Sound System provided. 

(Modern and contemporary songs, original, golden oldies, jazz, blues, opera and light classical.)

- Stand-Up Comedy.

(What Kind? Improv Show & Stand Up Guys - I was Executive Producer & Show Host)

- MC of Events. 

(MC - The Good Food & Wine Show, Demo Chef, City View Mall MC)

- Director / Writer of Children's Educational & Theatrical Shows / Road Shows. 

(AACL, ETA & Cooee Roadshows, Animal Tails I & II, Rapunzel & The Princess & The Frog at The Catalina Theatre)

- Educational Work Experience Talks - Schools.

(Women in Business, Women Empowerment, Overcoming Adversity) 

- Motivational Speaker

( I am a Survivor of Woman & Child Abuse)

- Artist/Director Support Photography

(Theatrical during show, Poster art, Portfolio)

- Portable Recording Studio for Indie Artists

(Recording Studio and Support / training for Indie Artists)

- Doll Face-Ups

(Re-design and creation of refurbished OOAK dolls)

DIARY: Parenting

I had to have one of "those talks" with my two girls today in the car, in the driveway, them all clipped in and nowhere to go - after dropping off half of our belongings at Nanna's house (we're staying with family while we look for a house and are returning after a month away house sitting)
You know that talk?
The one where your face screws up like you've eaten a sour-worm, and your voice cracks just a bit (dramatic effect) and you inform your sweet faced children that if they do "that" again (in this case - completely ignoring my repeated requests to come to the car so we could go) just because their precious Nanna is nearby (you know how children always push it when they're in front of friends or family?), they will both have verrrry creative punishment until they start listening to me again. They both nodded solemly and said "Yes mum" - even though I know I'm going to have to be a TyrannosaurMum until they settle back in... #sigh