Racial Hatred and Feeling Homeless

My heart aches at the anger, racism and hatred that is so firmly directed at the white minority in South Africa.

This blanket of anger and resentment has settled over the youth and young adults like a disease. If only that anger could become determination - to study hard and finish school. To work hard, and smart. To work towards an economically viable and trusted (investors) receptacle for International funding... But no. It's easier to hate the white man. To stare me down whenever I am in your presence, to see the blank rage there. Directed at me. Because I am white.

Standing in my own suburb, waiting for a soft-serve with my giggling little girl (3.5yrs) who swings joyfully on the silver balustrade, and asks the tall african gentleman,
"Hello there! Why have you got a cheetah's tail on your head?"
To which he simply clicks his tongue at her innocence, and looks away, leaving her heart sore and confused - instead of sharing his fascinating inheritance with her. Standing in my own suburb, their suburb too. Waiting in line for my small order, I am stared at, hard. Unblinking stares directed at me, at us. When I smile or acknowledge the connection the look intensifies and I am afraid. I am afraid, 3 kilometres from my home.

Xenophobia, Genocide, Race Hatred, Misconceptions, Ignorance. These are the enemy.
"Robbing from the rich to give to the poor"
It won't work. It can't work. Because then everyone will be poor.
"Give a man a fish... He will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish... and he will have food for life."

I understand that it is hard - there are so so so so many poor Black South Africans. So many. But even if every White, Indian, Coloured or Asian South African handed over the total sum of their wealth and left... There would *still* not be enough to go around. And who would share it? The minute wealth is in anybody's hands: corruption sets in. You know it's true.

What South Africa needs is:
--Lower salaries for people in power - their annual earnings could sponsor the school fees of many, many government school learners. (R600 a year per child)
--A fully funded independent task team to expose corruption at *every* level of government, at within the Medical and Educational sectors (ghost teachers, medical aid fraud)
--Free education at government schools.
--Free basic health care - Clinics/Government Hospitals.
--Job creation - within airports, easily acquired tenders, malls, smme's, larger companies.

These are just some of the things that could be done to raise the standard of living across the board. This new africanised romanticised "Robinhood hand-me-down" mentality is dangerous.
DANGEROUS.
The masses are not being looked after.
The elderly are not being cared for.
Widows and orphans are not being sheltered.
People are not working - or even trying to get work.
They feel hopeless.
They are misled by Politicians or Media to have hope in the fanciful pipe-dream of shared wealth and land...

There are simply too many people. Too many people without a Matric. Too many people dreaming of a better life (via ancyl's vision of economic anarchy and hinted-at multicultural genocide) and, too many people *not* seeing a way to get out of the situation. It is very bleak indeed.

But, we are a very young Democracy. We have proven to the world that we can work as a team, that we can raise the standard. I just hope that we have the tenacity to stick it out for a while longer - give the next generation of 1994 babies a chance to raise the bar. We are flogging a young horse, expecting to ride a trained racehorse before we have even put a saddle on it for the first time.

I have taught for many years, my past students now range in age from 15 to 25 years old. I am friends with them on Facebook and see them growing, voicing opinions and preparing for life. I see hope in *them* they are focussed and hard-working. They are mixed race, mixed gender and mixed religion... And they are the future. I just hope that they are strong enough to pull families from poverty, create jobs, stifle this latent rage and motivate for positive change in South Africa. Or else we are all doomed.

I am just tired of being afraid, being made to apologise for the skin on my back. Being made to feel hopeless, sad, not welcome. Surely this is *my* country too? It's not. Apparently. Even though I am a third and fifth generation South African.

There is nowhere on earth that I can call home, and I am not welcome here, anymore.

Sandy Bigara